What I Don't Want for Christmas

After a long hiatus, I'm finally starting to get active on the Blogcirc again wtf. So sorry Leroy Tan Jin Shern for neglecting this blog just like neglecting a child produced from a mis-timed pulling out of the 'trigger' from a not-so-protected intercourse session wtf.

Ok, here goes the 2nd post. Forgive me if its rather short as Xmas poses not significance to me at this age anymore, let alone with the fact that I'm no Christian.

1. Getting stranded in the plane for an hour after the scheduled take-off time. Based on a true story, I spent Xmas night trapped in a stuffy Qatar Airways aircraft waiting to depart from KLIA. They failed to take off as scheduled due to some shortcomings in the calculation for fuels required for the flight to Doha. Not to mention the fuckin plane was packed with ah sohs all gearing up for their end of the year hols and some bloody Jawas (a Star Wars way of describing middle eastern people with the hood!). Coupled with that, the seats were really tighter than a bloody driving class in a Kancil. They're also bloody stingy with the air conditioning in an effort to save energy. Yawns, anyone?
2. Not another yuletide beer belly, please. People have been showering me with compliments that I've been reduced on the weight issue, and most importantly the beer belly is said to have shrunken. Compliments are always nice, but it should not be taken in to heart too easily. Just hope those Xmas meals and drinks do not bring out the (bulging) best out of it again.
   
3. Irrelevant gifts. Seriously, the old saying of 'its the thought that counts' could not be abused any further. Who would blindly give a "pre-World Cup 2006 guide book" when 2007 is about to end? Good intentions indeed, but someone has to learn that Italy have been world champs after a year and a half!
4. Trick-or-treat pricksters. It's a lovely sight when children start caroling in front of your gate, but letting them in and showering gifts to each and everyone would be a nuisance. Not to mention complains from my neighboring Ahmad, Muthu and Ah Chong who aren't worshiping Jesus. Oh, myself included wtf.
   

Kepala Pu-singh wtf

Eh eh this is only for jokes k.....Jack pls dont stone and rage lol


Joke 1

Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America.

A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?"

Singh answered, "No, I am Banta Singh".

Another guy came and asked the him the same question.
Singh answered, "No No Me Banta Singh!"

Third one came and asked him the same question again.
Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?"
The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes,
I am relaxing." The Singh slapped him on his face and said,
"Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and your are
sitting over here!"


Joke 2

A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly
gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due
to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain
admittance a prospective heavenly soul, he must answer two
questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?

The Singh thought for a few minutes and answ ered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today
and Tomorrow. 2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow
answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how
did you get 12 seconds in a year?"

The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March
2nd,etc..."

Saint Peter lets him in without another word.


Joke 3

Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high
and low all around his living room.
Jasmeet : "What are you searching for?"
Santa : "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet : "And what makes you think that there are hidden
cameras here?" Santa : "That guy on TV knows exactly what I
am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying;
'You are watching the Star World Channel'. How does he know
that?"


Joke 4

Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and
started thankin g God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what
are you thanking God for ?"
The Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I
wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would
have been missing too."


Joke 5

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final
examination.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the
question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of
inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the
window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as
well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The
invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going
on.

"Oye, I am only following the instructions here"! It says
here "Answer the following questions in brief".


Joke 6

Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was
crying like hell. So the other asked, " Why are you crying?"
The first one said, "I came here for blood test" Second one
asked, "So? Are you afraid "

First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test
they cut my finger"

Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one
was astonished and asked the other, "Why are you crying?"

The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."


Joke 7

A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he
goes to wash hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are
you doing?" To this the man replies,

" Oye, see the board here ---"Wash Basin".