A Short Post for a Short Person wtf

Hi again readers (if there still are any), here I am coming out of blogging retirement once more. Like seriously, theres this new social website called Facebook which took away all my procrastination main activities whenever I'm sitting in front of the comp and acting as if I have no friends in the outside world wtf. Gone are the days where I would only upload pics on Friendster or on my previous Xanga blog, but Facebook tagging just provides me some sorta 'all-in-one' purpose in the sense that I can post pics very conveniently, get regular comments and not left abandoned.

Anyways, this post is supposed to be an entry especially assigned (no referencing needed, thank you!) by a friend who claims to be my only true blog reader wtf. Yes nobody reads my blog anymore cos there's nothing for them to read anymore, anyway. However, these are 7 fast facts about her....

1. Someone who I've known since my precious CPU days
2. Someone who happens to be my SHORTEST female friend wtf
3. Someone who I've had countless notty affairs with but at the same time still allowing me to have several others at the same time (its a kinda hot issue on a Facebook photo at the moment, hint hint Kath, Kai and etc.). Ok this statement was casual too
   
4. Someone who punches my biceps whenever she wants and also to make it appear strong in front of other people wtf
5. Someone whose belongings you could hide at high places so she will not be able to reach, let alone find it
6. Someone who cares about me alot
7. One of my best friends from college till this day....

Introducing, MISS JOANNE KOH!





Ahahahah I had to post up the last pic just cos you didn't like it ;p

Me Singing One Sweet Day Mariah Carey Boyz 2 Men Nick Pitera

Fuiyooo giler castrato sial! Damn talented....behold

Manglish v Ausglish

Okerrrrr after nearly 2 years of studying in 'Straylan (Australian, pronounced in a local accent) Land', its high time for me to provide a word-for-word, or sentences translation for that matter. Yes, us Malaysians are known to KISS well. No, not lips to lips you perv..... it simply means Keep It Simple Stupid and this applies to how Malaysians generally simplify their choice of English words in a short and simple sentence as compared to their Western counterparts. Here goes folks, and I'll just pretend that my readers would still be around after not updating this blog for God knows how long lol.

Aussie: Hey, hows it goin' mate?/ What you've been up to?
Malaysian: Ssup/ yo!

A: Just pass over your number and I'll prank or text you or something...
M: Eh give number then I miss call or sms you....

A: I suppose this club is rather tacky!
M: Eh this club damn pariah lah!

A: Its a bloody fair dinkum shame!
M: Ya damn make shy!

A: I must say, I'm pretty stoked for the upcoming Champions League final. What do you reckon?
M: Eh, Champions League final damn kan cheong lah. You say leh?

A: Chips
M: Fries

A: Rice droplet noodles
M: Loh She Fun

A: May I have the RoarThee Egg, please?
M: Dei anneh, roti telur satu!

A: If I were to tell you that you have a nice body, would you hold it against me? *damn that rotten cunt who taught me this lol*
M: Eh, mau main arh? (HAHA!)

A: Hey, it seems like the weather's not bein' anal today. Are you keen for a kickabout at the park?
M: Eh weather damn nice. Wanna go padang to play football?

A: Man, I swear that cunt talks thrash all the time!
M: That fella like to talk cock everytime!

A: Lets grab ourselves some booze/grog for tonight cos we'll drink the night away!
M: JOM TANI TONITE!

A: Excuse me mate, would you care to spare me a ciggy?
M: Eh kawan, mintak rokok sebatang?

A: Excuse me driver, it seems like the person that you're supposed to pick is no longer waiting here. Would you mind moving on to pick other passengers?
M: Fuck off teksi!

A: Oy I heard Krispy Kremes has just opened in the CBD. Do you fancy grabbing some?
M: Oi doughnut mou?

A: I must say that bugger is full of himself.
M: He damn perasan.

A: Oh shite! Here comes the five-o! We're busted!
M: Alamak! Polis! Kantoi!

NO THIS IS NOT A FORWARDED ENTRY YOU MOFOS! I FUCKEN WROTE THIS BASED ON EXPERIENCE AND LOCAL KNOWLEDGE MMKAY!! Phew....raging felt good

Perempuan Tudung Pegang Babi

Wah lau wei......anything can happen in our country now. This is probably the biggest blasphemy I've ever seen, beating even the case of those rogol cases. Behold.....

Global Warming wtf

French football team, 1959

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French football team, 2008




































The crisis from climate change can no longer be ignored wtf.
Just for jokes k? jangan terasa wtf

Barisan Nasional new logo

And so they won again, those cheeky Barisan fellas. But their not-so-landslide victory indicates that a strong sense of democracy is uprising in Malaysia. Meanwhile, on the cheeky side of myself, may I present (obviously it wasn't created by me, but taken from a random site or email) the probable new logo of Barisan Nasional.

Chinese Delivery Service

Have a good laugh with this Chinese delivery.

Enjoy its innovative delivery method, the Chinese way...forget about DHL, UPS or even FedEx!!! IF U DARE...




A family in the Southern Province of China, were puzzled when the coffin of their dead grandmother arrived from the States. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it! When they opened the lid, they found a letter on top; which read as follows:



"Dear Cousins,



I am sending Ah-ma body to you since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Tung Shin. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leaves are consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under Ah-ma's body, 12 cans of Yohmeitsu, 10 packets of Swiss chocolates and packets of Chinatown Lap Cheong.

Please divide these among all of you. On Ah-ma's feet you will find a new pair of Nike Air shoes (size 10) for Ah boy. Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Ah Mei's and Ah Lien's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

Ah-ma is wearing 6 CK T-Shirts. The large size is for Ah Bak and the others are for my nephews. Just distribute them among yourselves. The 2 new Armani Jeans that Ah-ma is wearing are for the boys.

The Rolex watch that Lee Ah Bai wanted is on Ahma's left wrist. Kiasu Aunty Pei Pei , Ahma is wearing theTiffany necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them. The 6 white Polo cotton socks that Ah ma is wearing must be divided among my teenage cousins.

Let me know what else you need as Ah Kong also not felling well nowadays. I can send all required things when our Ah Kong goes back too..."